it all starts at the beginning - it's starting.

11:04 pm - it's starting.

again.
when is my worry ever at rest?
apparently I love this game.
like that bubble in my throat
and ache in my chest.
the time spent hurting myself.

I don't know what to say.
To him, to me.
It's so perfect.
I am such a woman.
Tending to him, manliness.
He is pockets deep,
being everything I wanted.
Why fuck it up?

Why do I flirt
with the hot guys at work?
Why do I never express
my upset feelings?
Why do I never tell him
anything,
without fear, worry, etc.
Peter killed my communication
years ago,
with telling me to deal with it.

I get looked at by every man.
And he tells me,
"You're so out of my league."
But when will anyone find
a man with a good heart/head?


I have nothing else to say.