it all starts at the beginning - Success, boyfriend, and chest worthy things.

02:22 pm - Success, boyfriend, and chest worthy things.

I feel like as I become more successful, I lose more friends.
Back on tour tomorrow, long nights.
Photoshoot today,
and I wish I just stayed in his bed all day till he came home from work.

I make his bed when I leave,
like a little "Thank you for letting me sleep in, and sleep here."
He said, "I find it so cute you make my bed... you're so nice, you know you don't have to."
So I contemplated not making the bed this morning.
But I still wanted to say thank you, so I did.

My chest is still hurting,
blood work, EKGs, and CT scans,
one drug to the next,
I'm getting used to going to the Dr's every week.
I just wish that something would fix it instead of
making my body forget about it.
But painkillers are nice.
I hate that no one can hug me hard,
I can't use my right arm much,
and I can't exercise.
I hate that I can't get excited,
but I won't refuse good sex.